tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post8910328880510066341..comments2024-01-20T20:13:48.901-07:00Comments on Widow Chick: Grief: The Sneak AttackWidow Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15830496557976820633noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-70594501145145790562012-08-03T02:19:11.439-06:002012-08-03T02:19:11.439-06:00It's funny that I read this... I had kept my d...It's funny that I read this... I had kept my dentist appointment less than a week from my fiance's death too. Good to have a heads up as to what may be in store for me. <br /><br />*huggles*ms.new.truehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07703962461894192984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-41471921909401476702010-09-25T13:35:58.707-06:002010-09-25T13:35:58.707-06:00I am exactly 4 months in and I still struggle to t...I am exactly 4 months in and I still struggle to take a breath. I am working and "doing" things but ............... am so, so homesick for my husband. Again, it takes my breath away. I see photos of me taken since he died and .......the light has gone out of my eyes for sure. Month four has been very sad and I am exhausted. Please keep writing for all of us.icezamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00433669932227411206noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-27405863625322883122010-08-27T22:56:34.012-06:002010-08-27T22:56:34.012-06:00I am at almost 5 years and it still doesn't ta...I am at almost 5 years and it still doesn't take much to get me all teary eyed. I just quickly slip on my shades so I can still look manly. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-64301623988165965692010-08-27T15:19:23.695-06:002010-08-27T15:19:23.695-06:00Thanks,I really needed to read this today. I'm...Thanks,I really needed to read this today. I'm glad to know that I'm not losing my mind and that others have these meltdowns.It's also comforting to read others posts to see how they deal with these situations.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-56219998298016242362010-08-25T16:40:06.913-06:002010-08-25T16:40:06.913-06:00I went to hot yoga a few days after my DH passed, ...I went to hot yoga a few days after my DH passed, my sister who was here from back east helping with the arrangements etc. anyways she had never been to yoga and off we went, saw one of my regular teachers and he asked me how I was.....I just said, well fine, my husband passed away a few days ago. Yeah not thinking what a conversation stopper it is. I continued with I needed to destress so I came to yoga. I think in the first few weeks it is easier to follow the routine, after a month or so, reality strikes. As for meeting up with another widow, a friend of mine had her husband pass a week before mine, cancer also, our kids were friends we lost touch but we became friends again. It is the most therapeutic friendship I have, when others don't get me she does. It is healing on another level. Especially as our hubbys passed within a week of each other, we are at the same stage...we get each other. At times when I feel like I am losing it, I discover she is going through the same thing, same stage. Oh yeah, on the strange occurence, my son has a Buzz Lightyear (he is 17) and he swears it's head moved and it was staring at him, he moved the head and it turned again. He put it back downstairs by his computer.robertanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-30557243288225533212010-08-25T15:33:56.046-06:002010-08-25T15:33:56.046-06:00Mags! Lots of people have said that! I posted so...Mags! Lots of people have said that! I posted something on my FB page about having lights flickering around me (not all the time, but one day it was ALL day and everywhere I went). Lots of people commented on the "scent" thing. And when I told a friend of mine that no one else seemed to notice but me he said, "The message wasn't FOR anyone else but you." :>)Widow Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15830496557976820633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-75646118209454004472010-08-25T15:14:07.291-06:002010-08-25T15:14:07.291-06:00Well, it's nice to know I am not the only one ...Well, it's nice to know I am not the only one in this madness! Sadly but thankfully, the highlight of my day is checking to see what you had to say today. I am new to this, and I don't like it a bit. It has been five months. Within the last week I have found myself more lost than ever...sobbing, in fact. AND, not sure if I am losing my mind but I am smelling my husband in different parts of the house, at work, in my car. No one else notices this. So yes, grief is not sneaking up on me...it is kicking my ass!Magsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-34138533614992988132010-08-25T14:13:34.519-06:002010-08-25T14:13:34.519-06:00You paint such clear pictures, and though I am not...You paint such clear pictures, and though I am not in the same place or situation, your genuine moments enveloped me. As someone who was honored to read your words, just know that you are special to the universe ( no, I'm not one of those...) and I am better today for having read them. I know that forward is the only direction we can go, and you are doing that in the best way that you can. Thank you for sharing, no, for including your readers in your reality.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-44762833836835088302010-08-25T13:17:26.039-06:002010-08-25T13:17:26.039-06:00Great Story Widow Chick! As always you've desc...Great Story Widow Chick! As always you've described it perfectly. Been there...done that!<br />Hang in there!SUNSHINEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00126734017408772770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-68637231442950589472010-08-24T20:55:43.368-06:002010-08-24T20:55:43.368-06:00Jeff died on a Friday, and on the Monday I took th...Jeff died on a Friday, and on the Monday I took the car to a pre-scheduled appt. My best girlfriend had given the mechanics, guys we know fairly well by now, a heads-up a while before, and when they saw me they said Gosh We Didn't Expect To See You Here Today, and I was all, Jeez, the car needs an inspection sticker, whaddaya gonna do. Yeah. Weird. Shock, I think they call it....But now a year later I can hardly go in there without having a breakdown, remembering that day.carolynnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-692377984844771282010-08-24T20:36:28.033-06:002010-08-24T20:36:28.033-06:00Thank you all for all of your comments. Like I sa...Thank you all for all of your comments. Like I said...I'm so glad that none of us are alone. It's a relief to know that some of the things I write about, others either think about or have gone through something similar. Grief rolls in waves and it's nice to know that there are others who can pull you out when you need it. Thank you!Widow Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15830496557976820633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-7408853095998016852010-08-24T20:13:20.400-06:002010-08-24T20:13:20.400-06:00Oh Widow Chick, feel like a re-run here. January 6...Oh Widow Chick, feel like a re-run here. January 6th was not a good day, understatement there. Feb rolls around and there on the calendar: my Dear and I had dental appointments together, first time we managed that in this after retirement (wanted or not) time. I think I need to cancel his appointment, so I call, "I will be there but my husband won't." "Would he like to reschedule?" "Uhh," really, I hadn't thought that far, "no, he can't he's died. "<br /><br />You're right, that does sorta gum up conversation. <br /><br />That said, they were so kind to me, the dentist and my husband used to bring fav beers for each to try. And Widow Chick? if you need one of those pool noodles (theoretically) to help while treading water, let me lend you one.Linda M. Epsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10483121679256889932noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-86343479633438256702010-08-24T19:14:24.633-06:002010-08-24T19:14:24.633-06:00I can relate. The very next day after my husband d...I can relate. The very next day after my husband died I had a pedicure done. I had not been able to leave my house for nearly two months. I was constantly with my DH during those days. People brought me food, groceries, took my kids to church etc. I was 24/7 taking care of him. I have a problem with ingrown toenails so to get away and finally get some relief on my toes felt so good. And yet it was hard to as-matter-of-fact tell the beautician that my husband had just passed away. And that I needed to hurry on out of there because I had funeral arrangements to make.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-41114577225378565412010-08-24T18:12:12.597-06:002010-08-24T18:12:12.597-06:00gosh, you have no idea how much I needed this toda...gosh, you have no idea how much I needed this today! Thanks for always having just the right words and the perfect mix of humor and truth!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-56860334801104871012010-08-24T17:42:36.403-06:002010-08-24T17:42:36.403-06:00ugh, It does sneak up on you. In the beginning I w...ugh, It does sneak up on you. In the beginning I was so scattered I had to put notes on every wall I had. When it hits it hits hard, I have "those" feelings too. Last Friday as a matter of fact. I reached out to my online community and got amazing results. I am not a Pollyanna, I can feel like crap as much as the next person, but the people who responded made me feel better.Paulanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-31444630227650561832010-08-24T16:00:33.258-06:002010-08-24T16:00:33.258-06:00I had one of those yesterday! Wow!! They suck so b...I had one of those yesterday! Wow!! They suck so badly!!! Been a bit over 3 years for me too. No warning...just a stupid, f'd up day that gets worse instead of better. Today I feel drained...just kinda numb inside again....I think it should be back to that "new normal" again by tomorrow....I hope.... TrishAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-3125296854881121282010-08-24T15:52:11.921-06:002010-08-24T15:52:11.921-06:00Today is not a good day for me either. A friend o...Today is not a good day for me either. A friend of mine is trying to set me up with another widow who might be interested in doing some of the things I like to do but can never find anyone to go with....now how freakin sad is that? Now I am getting set up with other widows because my friends can't or don't want to go with me. I thought that would happen with men!!! Nope, other women. God, I am not only drowning a little, I am sinking fast. What kind of loser am I? I still have "those" thoughts, there is an easy way out...but I guess its not so easy because I am still here. Next time I get my prescription filled maybe....It's been 16 months for me, so seeing people feel this way after 3 years is both comforting and distressing...I don't have kids, only dogs, and without them...I don't know. We were together 30 years, married almost 20, and I don't feel like I have anything in my life anymore.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1410599077591449670.post-38175260690929459882010-08-24T15:50:39.292-06:002010-08-24T15:50:39.292-06:00Yep...I went to the doctor one week after the fune...Yep...I went to the doctor one week after the funeral. It was the first time I attempted to drive. As soon as I left the office (I mean AS SOON AS), I had forgotten all of my doctor's instructions. I am glad she has moved locations so I don't have awful flashbacks every time.<br /><br />My next appointment's in October, though. Between our anniversary (October 3rd) and the one year sadiversary (November 6th). I am not expecting a good fall...Hira Animfeftehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10463914387875684115noreply@blogger.com