Just having one of those nights. One of those single parenting nights. One of those single, alone nights.
Parent teacher conferences are this week. I shouldn't be going alone. OR...I shouldn't be taking all of the kids...someone should be at home with them making dinner (or ordering dinner) while I go and truly concentrate on how my kid is doing in school. Instead I sit and worry about the other 2 demolishing the room.
At the very least, I should be able to tell someone how his kid is doing...since he'd probably be out of town anyway.
My son, who needs his dad, has been throwing major temper tantrums this last week. Knock-down, drag-out, punch-the-door tantrums. He goes through these phases so it's really nothing new...sometimes I think he just gets overwhelmed with what's going on in that little head. But my husband was the one who used to get down on his knees and calmly tell my son to take 4 deep breaths. Now my kid is stuck with the parent who has a temper to match his and will just throw him in his room at the first sign of a blow-up.
I've been wishing all week that my husband could be here. For many reasons. To parent. To comfort. To support. And to just celebrate his 38th birthday on Friday.
But he's not.
And where do I find myself these days?
Quietly crying as I fix dinner.
Feeling alone and like life will just never be the same.
Taking 4 deep breaths and waiting for things to calm down.