Monday, February 3, 2014

Why I'm the Best

That's right.  THE. BEST.

The last few weeks have pretty much passed by in a blur.  As much as I've been trying to "live in the moment" and "soak it all in"...a book release is not the glamor and glitz you might think it is. 

Oh, I know that you all must picture me sitting in my office in yoga pants and a tiara, but you're only half right.  Despite the fact that I've had several people say, "You must be raking it in" and even my children have asked if we can go to Disney World (to which I've replied, "No, but maybe you can go to college"), book earnings are usually nowhere near the lottery winnings that everyone apparently envisions.

No one sneaks into my house to roll out the red carpet, leading from my bed to the stove so that I can make my kids breakfast every morning (I thought that was in my contract?).  There have been days when I have been locked in my office so long that my shower happens around 3 PM, just so I don't have to hear my kids say, "You didn't shower?  Again?"  In fact, aside from the extra set of Sharpies I've had to buy myself, everything has pretty much stayed the same.

Yesterday I had my second book signing, which took place at BookPeople in Austin.  As was the case at the Tattered Cover here in Denver, I panicked for a solid week, picturing empty chairs and one, lone store employee slowly clapping at the end of my reading.  But, as was the case in Denver, I was surprised to see seats filled and people actually paying attention to what I was saying (something I'm not used to as a mother of three). 

But there was one person there who actually seemed to think I was the best.  One pair of eyes that never glanced at his phone while I spoke.  One person who stayed until the very end to soak up time with me.

My dad.

My dad has been in Austin all month, looking after my grandmother who is slowing down quite a bit (and who I was so happy to visit a couple of times while I was down there), which was part of the reason I scheduled the signing when I did.  Between the twists and turns of the Austin streets, the detours due to construction, and pedestrians who seem to be more confident in their invincibility than in any other city I've ever seen...if my dad hadn't been there I would have either shown up to my Saturday signing on Tuesday, or I'd be in jail for hitting one of the many bearded jaywalkers wearing a "Don't Mess With Texas" t-shirt.

But my fan club doesn't end there.  Because before I could even book my ticket to go, there was one person I had to clear my schedule with.  One person who makes what doing what I do possible.  One person I call immediately not matter what has happened - the first person I called when Brad had been in his accident and the first person who called me when I made the local bestseller list.

My mom.

Not only did she watch my kids, she went through all of their closets and put together a huge bag of clothes to donate (something I haven't had time to do in months) and had dinner and a homemade pie waiting for me when I got home.  Since I've been a single mom, she has offered to take the kids at the drop of a hat (something that, believe me, I appreciate every day), take me out to lunch when she knows I've been stuck in my own head for too long, and boldly tells me that I need to go in for a therapy tune-up when she sees me slipping.

For those of you who have read my book, you know that beyond my kids and me, my parents played the largest roles in my story.  Part of that was because they were always here, present, waiting for me to tell them what I needed.  But part of that was also because they have been my biggest fans, champions, and the people who had no doubt that I could do what I've done - even when I stopped believing it myself. 

They were with me at my lowest and support me during my best times.  They have shared in every moment of this process - talking me down from the ledge when things weren't going my way and celebrating with me when they did - and will continue to be my constant as I go into this next phase in my life.

Make no mistake.  I could not do what I've done without them.

So, even though I am constantly plagued with self-doubt, there is a little part of me that knows that I will actually always be the best.

Because to them...I am.

PLEASE NOTE: My parents look nothing like the people in the picture.  I just thought those two looked like they really wanted to be used in a blog and I couldn't let them down.  Actually, now that I look at the picture again, they kind of look like a couple with bladder control issues.

If you want to see what my parents actually look'll have to come to a signing. 'Cause they'll be there.   ;)


  1. A wonderful post, Catherine. Your mom and dad will always be there in your corner for you. They are the best! They also have some pretty darn good children and grandchildren! :)

  2. I am thrilled for you, that your book release and signings are a success and giving you reasons to smile and be happy.

  3. so great glad you have them on your side you are amazin I look to you for inspiration Zgo you lol

  4. I just finished reading your book. It was so well done. The perfect combination of truth, humor, and pain. Thank you for your courage in writing it, your bravery in sharing your story so that other widows like myself can knowingly nod and feel comfort when reading your words. I'm so glad you had such loving family members to support you during this journey. Congratulations on your book. Sequel?!