Friday, January 30, 2015

Too Cynical for a Few Good Men?

I'm starting to feel like dating is like naming one of your children.  I remember when my husband and I were trying to decide on our daughter's name and as we went through the list of suggestions we each vetoed the ones we didn't like pretty quickly.

"I knew a girl with that name in elementary school.  I couldn't stand that girl."

"No.  That one won't work.  That's the same name of the cashier of the grocery store I don't like."

"Are you kidding?  That's the same name of the woman who wrecked my car last year!  Do you want our kid to grow up to be a bad driver??"

It seemed that, the older we were, the more experiences we'd had and that resulted in a long list of people who had pissed us off in the past.  And we didn't want to be reminded of that every time we called our kid to the dinner table.

Dating has turned out the same way for me.  After being in some relationships that didn't work out for whatever reason and one that was catastrophic and left me picking up the pieces years later, my list of "vetoes" has gotten long...

...and to be honest it makes me feel like kind of a bitch.

I've realized that I have whittled down my list of requirements in a potential mate to such a point that it will probably be impossible for me to find someone who fits all of the criteria (but I'm sure as hell going to try).  Most of it has to do with my dating experience in the past and the things I figured out didn't work for me.  Some might think I'm cynical, some might think I'm jaded...I'd like to think I'm just wiser.

But dating seemed to be a lot easier when I wasn't.

The second I hear a guy say, "I'm just staying with my cousin for a while until I get back on my feet" I look for the door.  Not that that isn't a valid and probably smart thing to do, but given my past experience where I found myself in a relationship and looking at a future where I would be completely supporting someone else...that's not a road I even want to turn on, much less go down.

When I interact with someone who has no sense of humor it reminds me of painful dinners when I've struggled to make conversation with the person I'm with.  And I decide it's just cheaper to drink wine at home.

When I meet someone who has been engaged three times in the past, but never married, it reminds me of the painful breakup I had with someone who wanted to get married after six months.

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I am fully aware that there are many great guys out there, but I'm wondering if I'll be able to get out of my own way (and drop a little of the baggage from the past) to find that person.  Because as time goes on, I get more and more educated on what worked and what didn't and after seven years of the single life...that list is getting longer and more detailed.

In many ways, I miss the old me who didn't know herself at all.  Yes, that was a very painful time in many ways, but I seemed more open to just taking in the experience. 

When you don't know what the hell you're doing and you're somewhat of a mess yourself, it's a lot easier to overlook someone else's messiness.  That can be good and bad.

The last few days, I've been thinking about my husband and wondering if we met now, older and more emotionally formed...would we get along?  Would he ask me out?  Would I be able to overlook his shortcomings and would he still not mind the fact that I'm an inch taller than he is?

Maybe.  Maybe not.

I would hope that I would have been able to look past some of the imperfections because I wouldn't have wanted to miss out on the amazing guy he was.

I guess I need to remember that the next time around.



14 comments:

  1. When Eros aims his arrow, I think we overlook the small stuff. Eros is often painted wearing blindfolds. I miss being in love, but haven't found that magic again. I haven't looked very hard either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My name is morgan keri.i want to give thanks to dr.trust for bringing back my ex husband.No one could have ever made me believe that the letter I’m about to write would actually one day be written. I was the world’s biggest skeptic. I never believed in magic spells or anything like this, but I was told by a reliable source (a very close co-worker) that Trust is a very dedicated, gifted, and talented person,It was one of the best things I have ever done. My love life was in shambles; I had been through two divorces and was on the brink of a third. I just couldn't face another divorce, and I wanted to try harder to make our relationship work, but my husband didn’t seem to care. and he brake up with me again.I was confuse and do not no what to do again,rather them to get in contact with dr.trust. He did a love spell that make my husband come back to me. we are now very much happy with our self. dr.trust make him to realize how much we love and need each other.This man is for REAL and for good.he can also help you to fix your broken relationship. I had my husband back! It was like a miracle! He suddenly wanted to go to marriage counseling, and we’re doing very, very well,in our love life.contact email(ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com tel:+234186885231)

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    2. My boyfriend dumped me a week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the second day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you DR IVIE spell. You are truly talented and gifted. Email: drivieidumota@gmail.com is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.....
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      Delete
  2. And...this is a terrific blog. I love your honest introspection.

    ReplyDelete

  3. My name is MARY from USA .I am here to give a testimony on how I got my ex boyfriend back. My ex left me for no reason 3 years ago. He moved in with another woman, I felt like killing myself, my life became very bitter and sorrowful. Then 1 day, a friend of mine told me about a great spell caster that is very good to help my problem and, my friend also said that the spell caster gave him some lucky numbers that he played in a lottery and he won. I didn't believe it because I've worked with so many of them and it didn't work. He begged me further so I decided to try this great spell caster called DR SALOBA. I still didn't believe. but I used the spell he gave me and the next day I received a call from my darling boyfriend Thomas last week. He apologized and came back to me. He even gave me 10,000USD as a means of compensating me. I'm very happy now. Thank you DR SALOBA, You can reach DR SALOBA ON via email: salobaspiritualtemple@gmail.com OR you can call my DR SALOBA on +2349036493771. He can solve any problem like,
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    ReplyDelete
  4. Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Tracy Jones from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Eku who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact him on his email
    drekuperfectspells@yahoo.com and just visit DREKUPERFECTSPELLS.blogspot.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Eku and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds..

    ReplyDelete
  5. How I Get My Husband Back With The Help Of Dr Brave The Best Love Spell Caster

    Hello to every one out here, Am here to share the unexpected miracle that happened to me,My name is Mary Owen, I live in London,UK. we got married for more than 11 years and have gotten two kids. thing were going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out of it. i contacted Dr Brave for the return of my husband to me, they told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after 1 week my husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started to apologize on phone and said that he still live me that he did not know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that he Dr Brave casted on him that make him come back to me today,me and my family are now happy again today. thank you Dr Brave for what you have done for me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to contact Dr Brave ,if you need his help you can contact him through his private mail: bravespellcaster@gmail.com or you can contact him through his website http://enchantedscents.tripod.com/lovespell/ and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My boyfriend dumped me a week ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help them to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 2days that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the second day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you DR IVIE spell. You are truly talented and gifted. Email: drivieidumota@gmail.com is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.....
    he can solve the following......
    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) if you always have bad dreams.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women/men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
    yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) Herbal care
    (10) If you can be able to satisfy your wife
    sex desire due
    to low erraction.
    (11) if your menstruation refuse to come
    out the day it
    suppose or over flows.
    (12) if your work refuse to pay your, people
    owing you?.
    (13) solve a land issue and get it back.
    (14) Did your family Denny you of your
    right?
    (15) Let people obey my words and do my
    which.
    (16) Do you have a low sperm count?
    (17) bad lucks
    (18)HIV CURE

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Tracy Jones from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Eku who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact him on his email
    drekuperfectspells@yahoo.com and just visit DREKUPERFECTSPELLS.blogspot.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Eku and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds..

    ReplyDelete
  8. Unimaginable and unbelievable. I am Tracy Jones from the United States and i have a good news to share to the entire world. Do you need your ex husband or lover urgently? I wanna tell you that you need not to worry because i have a good news for those out there that are faced or similar to such situation because there is always a hope and a solution to all problem. There is a great spell caster called Dr Eku who can really solve your problem. Getting my lover back is what i can't imagine but when I was losing Newton, I needed help and somewhere to turn badly but my Aunty told me about this spell caster who also helped her on the internet. I thought it won't work but i just tried to give this man a chance and i ordered a LOVE SPELL. Two days later, my phone rang. Newton was his old self again and wanted to come back to me! Not only come back, the spell caster opened him up to know how much I loved and needed him. This Spell Casting isn’t brainwashing, but he opened up his eyes to know how much we have to share together. I recommend anyone who is in my old situation to try him because he will help you and make things be the way it ought to be. If you have such problem or similar to this, please contact him on his email
    drekuperfectspells@yahoo.com and just visit DREKUPERFECTSPELLS.blogspot.com and see so many people testifying about his perfect work. thank you Dr Eku and may your gods ever reward you for your good deeds..

    ReplyDelete
  9. A GREAT SPELL CASTER THAT SOLVE MY PROBLEMS.
    Hello I am Dexri Mark, I am out here to spread this good news to the entire world on how I got my ex love back. I was going crazy when my love left me for another boy last month, But when I meet a friend that introduce me to IKPAKPERAN ULOKO the great messenger to the oracle that he serve, I narrated my problem to IKPAKPERAN ULOKO about how my ex love left me and also how I needed to get a job in a very big company. He only said to me that I have come to the right place where I will be getting my heart desire without any side effect. He told me what I need to do, After it was been done, In the next 2 days, My love called me on the phone and was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness, I was called for interview in my desired company were I needed to work as the managing director. I am so happy and overwhelmed that I have to tell this to the entire world on how IKPAKPERAN ULOKO helped me grant my heart desire. If you need any kind of help contact IKPAKPERAN ULOKO at the following email address: ikpakperanuloko@gmail.com and get all your problem solve. No problem is too big for him to solve. Contact him direct and get your problems solve like me. He also cast so many spell like.

    (1) If you want your ex back.
    (2) You need a divorce in your relationship.
    (3) You want to be promoted in your office.
    (4) You want women & men to run after you.
    (5) If you want a child.
    (6) You want to be rich.
    (7) You want to tie your husband or wife to be yours forever.
    (8) If you need financial assistance.
    (9) Herbal care.
    Contact him today on: ikpakperanuloko@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. Am here to appreciate a man who has brought back the most precious thing back into my life, After my Ex Boyfriend left me for good 5 years i was in deep pain and so confused because i truly loved him so much because he meant a lot in my life,So i was at a shop one day buying somethings when i was listening to the radio hearing a lady talking about Dr Ofemo on how he has helped her in bringing back her ex,lover So which then i got home and had a think about contacting this spell caster So then i got his contact when i went to meet them at the radio station,They gave me dr Ofemo cell number and email id,Then i decided to contact him, and i explained to Dr Aluda how my Ex Boyfriend left me for good 5 years, Dr Ofemo has used his great and powerful spell to help me bring back my Ex Boyfriend within the period of 24 hours. This is more than words to me, at first I didn't believe it because I have tried several means to have her back to my life but nothing worked until Dr Ofemo came in to help me. I will advice every one out there who finds this testimony that has a similar I once had, and also anyone who is willing to get his or her lover back to contact this wonderful man today via email: drofemospelltemple@yahoo.com Dr Ofemo is a man to contact for help please don't fall victim into the hand of scam Dr Ofemo is here to help and a living testimony to his great work contact him on his private mail
    drofemospelltemple@gmail.com his hot line +2348163387496 or his Via web sit http://drofemospelltemple.wix.com/dr-ofemo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Am Gorege vanisa by name, i was diagnosed with Herpes for 7 years i lived in pain with the knowledge that i wasn’t going to ever be well again i contacted so many herbal doctors on this issue and wasted a large sum of money but my condition never got better i was determined to get my life back so one day i saw mr josha post on how Dr abaka saved him from the VIRUS with his herbal medicine i contacted Dr abaka on his email address drabakaspelltemple@gmail.com we spoke on the issue i told him all that i went through and he told me not to worry that everything will be fine again so he prepared the medicine and send it to me through courier service and told me how to use it,after 14 days of usage I went to see the doctor for test ,then the result was negative,am the happiest man on earth now. this testimony is real.thanks to Dr abaka God bless you. you can also reach him on his number +2349063230051.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Hello everyone my name is Sophie,i am from Canada I feel very happy to share my great and wonderful testimony with everyone on this platform..: I was married for 4 years to my husband and all of a sudden another woman came into the picture he started hating me and he was abusive and all because i never bear him a child. but i still loved him with all my heart and wanted him at all cost.... He filed for divorce and my whole life was turning apart and i didn't know what to do, he moved out of the house and abandoned me all alone,one day a very close friend of mine told me about trying spiritual means to get my husband back,so i went online to search and i came across so many spell caster who only wasted my time and took a lot of money from me,but i went back to her and told her that spiritual way has only taking my money and not yielding anything, and she  introduced me to a spell caster,drgurulovespelltemple@yahoo.com, so i decided to try it. although i didn't believe in all those things because of what i have gone through lately,i contacted the Doctor and explain all my problems to him and he told me that i shouldn't worry that when he cast the spell on me and my husband that my husband is going to run back to me and that within 3weeks am going to get pregnant,so i did the little he ask me to do and behold it all work out,my husband run back to me and right now we have Twins boy and a girl,so all thanks to Dr Guru you're indeed a great spell caster, in case anyone needs help here is his email address; drgurulovespelltemple@yahoo.com His spells is for a better life OR whatsapp him now +2349023365076

    ReplyDelete