But I Don't WANNA!!!

It seems like daily, I am forced to think about issues that I don't want to deal with. I hate sounding like my 4 year old when she needs a nap, but when you're reading this, you may want to hear a little whiny voice in your head as the narrator. Just a suggestion.

Car issues. I cannot stand dealing with car issues. Starting from buying a car and dealing with the very annoying and sometimes sketchy car salesmen, right down to getting rid of the hunk of junk and everything in between. To be quite honest...I even hate it when I have to stop for gas.

I didn't sign up for this. Automobiles were my husband's job. He was the negotiator. He was the one who could do any kind of car maintenance, thereby saving us thousands of dollars a year. For crying out loud...he was the one who would take my car to get cleaned.

After 3 years of living in Widowdom, I have learned to assert myself a little better when it comes to these issues. I think I've almost developed a multiple personality when it comes to dealing with the automotive industry. I sound very knowledgeable even though the only thing I really know how to operate on a car is the radio. I no longer go into the typical woman cry when I know that I'm getting taken for a ride by some mechanic but can't do a damn thing about it. I've even, at the age of 34, gotten to the point where I don't call my dad to come with me every time I need to get my oil changed. And that has me a little proud of myself.

Because every time I tackle something new, even though it annoys me and makes me miss my husband even more, there's a sense of empowerment that comes with it. I'll get my car fixed and think, "Dangit! I can do this!"

It also helps a little that if I screw up, I don't have to tell anyone about it. Because no one else sees my checking account anymore but me and I no longer have someone here to say, "You paid how much for that?"

I'm not saying that's the best way to cope. I'm just trying to keep my glass half full.

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© Catherine Tidd 2010