I lost it this weekend.
You know the story: Kid wants to go out for the night and needs a ride. Mom says she's too tired because she's been running said kid all over the place the entire weekend. Said kid starts to pout. Mom starts crying and screaming, "I don't know if you realize this, but I'm doing this by myself" as she slams out of the room.
Okay. Maybe you didn't know that story. But you do now.
Ugh. I wasn't pretty. And it's not a new scene. However, it happens a lot more in my head than it does in real life.
It's not my kid's fault. Any of my kids. And most parents - widowed or not - totally get this. I'm tired. I don't want to shuttle your ass anywhere else. I already bought you new boots today. Isn't that enough??
Kids are kids and we were all like that at one point in our lives. Yes, they're selfish and it's our job to teach them to think of others so they'll grow up to be caring human beings someday.
But maybe not by throwing a temper tantrum (me, not her) and slamming out of the room.
My argument was valid, though. And let's face it - our family situation can be shitty sometimes. But what usually happens is that I acknowledge how hard it must be for the kids to not have a dad.
Very rarely do they acknowledge how hard it must be for me to not have a partner in all of this.
Again, not their job. I get it. But as my daughter was begging me to basically spend two hours just driving her to the party and back last night, I couldn't help but bring up something I had been thinking about the entire weekend.
"You know, I'm the only one of your friends' parents who does everything. If they're single, they're divorced which means they're driving their kids around every other weekend. I am doing it all on my own, all of the time. It's no one's fault - it is how it is. But sometimes I just wish you'd remember that and cut me a little slack."
Of course, this wasn't said as calmly as I just typed it. But my point was made by the fact that I hadn't even showered (at 4 PM), I had just spent the afternoon before getting her to lunch and the movies with her friends, and hosting several other kids the night before (for my other kids) at an epic sleepover that involved sleeping bags sliding down stairs and other Motrin-inducing moments.
I was done.
I know this wasn't my kids' fault. I like for them to have fun. What I miss - truly, truly from the bottom of my core - is someone in my life who will either say to the kids, "You know what? You can stay home tonight. Let's let Mom rest" or "Don't worry, honey. I'll take care of it."
Is that too much to ask????
Don't answer that.