Sunday, September 20, 2015

I Can Take Anything Anybody Calls Me so Long as it's Not True

I stole that line.  I stole it from Harper Lee's Go Set a Watchman.  But since I suspect that manuscript was in some ways stolen from her...I think it's okay.

But that's another blog.

I spent three years in a relationship where I was basically manipulated and sometimes verbally abused.  I could say a lot more about it, but I won't.  I really should, but I won't.

When this other person wasn't getting his way, he would call me many of which was selfish; which I think we all are to a certain extent (and if we aren't, maybe we should be).  And of all the names he called me...that was the one that never really hit my soul.

You know why?

Well, after reading that quote, I do.

Because it wasn't true.

It's funny.  Being selfish is probably one of my biggest fears.  Which is probably why I'm not.  And I know I'm not.  I'm a good friend.  I will help you pick up all of your pieces if you let me. I give what I can (but I am learning to save a little)

This person would say this to me, push my buttons and make me prove it wasn't true. For years I couldn't figure out why it didn't hurt me when he said it - maybe I was just too cold?   Maybe I was so selfish I didn't even see it? 

Or maybe it didn't hurt me because it wasn't true.

I guess some people might think this blog is self-serving.

It's not.

I'm just proud of myself for knowing who I was before I knew it.


  1. You hang in my friend you are a far better person than most realize

  2. My ex husband and I have been divorced now for two years. He remarried one year ago. Last year him and I were still talking, he was engaged at the time and I didn't know. We were meeting each other at the park, talking, emailing, and went out to dinner one time. The entire time he told me I was the love of his life and that he didn't love this woman he is now married to. Of course my response to him was that he was also the love of my life as well. I was the one that asked for the divorce, and it was the biggest mistake of my life. This man is the only man I've ever truly loved and I am unable to love another man. When his fiance found out we were talking she broke all communication..Changed his phone number, deleted his email account etc. I've had no way of contacting him and I also have changed my number so he doesn't have anyway of contacting me either. I feel desperate, I feel like a crazy person because I can't stop these racing thoughts that control my life every single day. I just need to know how he feels. The very last time we talked he told me he could never love another woman again, and now he's married. What do I do? I cry myself to sleep every night. I can't listen to music, I'm afraid to go places for fear I'll see him with her. And when I do go to various places I think of him...Everything reminds me of us. I just want him back, he's my everything!! I love him so much!!!, i never wanted to check the internet for spell casters because i believed that they are all scam, but a child hood friend of mine told me to give it a try and contact a spell caster which i did, i contacted Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack and was doubting his powers, because he assured me not to worry about anything that all will be well, he did the spell for me and now my ex husband is back in my life and our marriage is saved with the help of Chief Nwaluta, here is his email if you are going through cases like this { }. Thank you chief i really appreciate.

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