Dear Social Security....

I am writing you this letter in response to the call I received on February 14, 2011 at 10 AM from a gentleman with the Social Security Administration, asking me to suddenly justify every expense I have had on behalf of my children in 2010.

On a personal note:  I apologize that I did not happen to be sitting in front of my bank statement, my credit card statement, my investment portfolio, and my receipts for 2010 when I received this unexpected call.  The representative seemed to imply that, because of my hesitant responses to his invasive questions, I had somehow squandered or misused the funds.  I don’t know if I could have answered those unanticipated questions on a good day and, frankly, if your office feels it’s appropriate to call widow(er)s with children on Valentine’s Day and ask them to suddenly list their expenses for an entire year...I’m afraid you are probably not going to get the response you are looking for. 

I will justify my expenses to you for the year with the money that my deceased husband had taken out of his hard-earned paycheck his entire adult life (although I am still unclear as to how that is relevant to you...this is the Social Security that we have paid for).   I am running a house.  I am paying for maintenance on a 7-year-old car that has 120,000 miles on it from running my kids to all of their activities.  I am now solely responsible for a home and maintenance to that home, as well as increased electric, gas, and water bills. 

I am paying for healthcare and taxes that have been raised even though my benefits have not. 

I encourage you, who are so concerned with how I spend my children’s Social Security benefits, to really get an understanding of where my money goes.  Come with me to their counseling appointments.  Take a drive with us when we spend the gas money to go to their father’s grave.  Watch me hand over the babysitting money I now have to pay because I am a single mother.

I help support a community of almost 1000 widows who are baffled daily by how Social Security benefits affect them.  For those people who chose not to or were unable to have children (or for those who fall into some arbitrary age window)...they are handed a one-time check for $250 and are left confused about where all of the money that their spouses put into the system went.  For those of us who have children and who are trying to keep their lives “business as usual”...it’s hard to explain why you can’t write a check (because you may not be able to justify it to a stranger behind a desk) for a school fundraiser that’s trying to raise money to buy paper because the budget has been cut.

All I ask is that, when you call a widow, demanding answers to complicated questions, remember that you are usually speaking to someone who has been devastated by a loss that has left their life completely broken and they are doing the best they can to pick up the pieces.  Half (or all) of their household income is gone but most of the time the same expenses are there.  And for those of us with children...we are doing the best we can with little lives that will never be the same with the limited benefits we are receiving.

I realize that it is probably not up to you, the person reading this letter, to fix this system.  Just remember...there is a good chance you will be on the other end of this phone call some day. 

Thank you.



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© Catherine Tidd 2011