Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Your First February Quote. This One's Gonna Make You Think

So here it is.  February.  The month of quotes.  And I’ve decided to mess us all up by taking the same quote and phrasing it 3 different ways. 

I would love for you to choose which one means something to you.  Think about it.  Write about it if you wish.  And I’ll do the same.

“Sometimes you have to give yourself...what you want from him.”

“Sometimes you have to give yourself.  What you want from Him.”

“Sometimes you have to give.  Yourself.  What you want from him.”

Think about it.  Three different ways.  Each one is so different. 

One speaks of the past.

One speaks of eternity.

One speaks of the future.

I would love to go into what each one means to me.  But I since I try to keep my blogs as short as a widow’s attention span...I’ll only go into one.

First of all...it was sheer luck that I stumbled upon this quote.  It’s from Dr. Phil and I never watch Dr. Phil.  I tuned into my local channel to catch Oprah’s show on the Oscar nominees a little early the other day so that I wouldn’t miss the beginning.  It’s extremely rare that I have any time to watch any TV and I was treating myself.

So there I was...at the tail end of the Dr. Phil show...carting in loads of firewood because, like most of the U.S....I’m freezing my ass off...and I hear him talking to a man trying to forgive his father for (I think) killing his mother (like I said...I only caught the last few minutes).

As I’m stumbling through my living room in slip-on shoes, sweats, and unwashed hair, I hear that statement.

Well, shit.  That was good.

Sometimes I have to give myself...what I want from him.

What did I want from him?

I wanted a good life.  I had the beginnings of one but it wasn’t finished.  So what do I still want?

A good life.  And if he could be here, that’s what he would have given me.  But just because he’s not here doesn’t mean I don’t want it.

I wanted love.  I had love and comfort and I still want that from him.  But he’s not here.  The problem is...I still want it.  And I truly believe he wants me to have it.

I still want love.

I want good parenting.  And part of that “parenting” is gone.  But part of that parenting is here.  And doing the best damn job she can.  And part of her parenting is thinking about how the other parent would feel/do/act if he was here.

I am a good parent.

I want to dream.  That anything is possible.  And if he were here, he’d be giving me that, too.  But he’s not.  But I know that he would want me to shoot for the moon.

My list could go on and on. 

Sometimes I have to give myself what I wish from him.

I will remember that when I wake up tomorrow.


  1. I could totally relate....Sometimes I have To give myself....what I want from him.
    What did I want from him
    I wanted love
    I still want love
    I want good parenting
    I am a good parent
    I want to dream.....love it!!!!

  2. That was perfect. Perfect quote. Perfect blog. Hit the nail on the head! Thanks!

  3. Love this...I've been wrestling with the idea of whether or not to move forward in building the dream home we were planning when he died. Perhaps I have to give myself that dream to fulfill the dream for both of us...